Disease: “Any harmful deviation from the normal structural or functional state of an organism. A diseased organism commonly exhibits signs or symptoms indicative of its abnormal state.”

Dis-ease: “A particular quality, habit, or disposition regarded as adversely affecting a person or group of people.” “A situation of un-ease.” ” Uncomfortable.”

I think we are pretty much at both places right now. A harmful deviation…..adversely affecting a group of people. And it sure is uncomfortable.

While walking the dog a few days prior to the election, I came upon this reproduction of a famous Renoir called “Bal du moulin de la Galette” (Dance at Le moulin de la Galette) propped up against a building next to a row of garbage pails. It was rather dismal to see. Leaning against the rotting facade of the building next to a dirty refuse container – in a way felt both disrespectful and metaphorical – it struck a chord of sadness in me. I was hoping someone would come along and take it home. Perhaps it was just projection on my part, but in that moment I was overcome with the uneasy foreboding that there was not going to be any celebrating in my camp after the votes came in.

This past week on social media, I encountered my first ever “troll”. Usually I don’t go out for politics much on my personal pages nor here in this blog. There are people more learned and articulate who can do that, and honestly, I am not up for the debates and discord this kind of thing generates. So if any of you are reading this and do not agree with me, let’s be civil and not get into any discussion after the fact. This time I sort of broke my own rule though. I was feeling pretty nauseous about the possibilities ahead and expressed sadness and worry over the future of democracy with a temporary profile picture on my page.

Some rando guy that I did not personally know dropped a nasty comment beneath this picture. Considering he did not even live in this country, and that the person he favored to win actually won, it seemed to just be a hateful, senseless thing to do. This being my first “troll” experience, I was more fascinated than upset at this person’s need to lash out with venom at someone who was a total stranger to him. After a number of people responded to him with a few choice words, I asked him to please take his hate elsewhere, and then I removed the picture. My point was made and his hostility and spitefulness was showcased. It was easy to delete and block this intruder and his “disease.” It’s a lot harder to do that when it’s someone you know.

One of the most disturbing aspects of this political division between people in our nation has been the fissures between families and friends. This has been felt and expressed by people on both sides of the fence. It is rather mind-blowing when people you care about or love – that you have been related to or had lifelong friendships with – have such an alternate (or in some extreme cases, distorted) view of reality that you have to wonder, “Who ARE you????” Or in some cases, “Who have you become???” In the past I have pretty much been able to put on my Swiss Face and maintain some sort of neutrality or acknowledgement regarding the opinions of people who matter to me, knowing that our core values were pretty much the same. I am not so sure of that anymore and find myself struggling to accept some upsetting viewpoints that I would find intolerable (and even deplorable) were it from anybody else. Dis-ease.

Following the election, a friend and I headed for a diner and stuffed our faces with Belgian waffles and crispy bacon. I don’t know if I would call it “comfort food” in as much as “drown your sorrows” food, but it temporarily took the edge off.

So here we are. For a few days I wallowed in anxious grief and disbelief, but there is nothing healthy about continuing on with that. Well, okay, I did throw in a couple more sarcastic memes, just because….

But then it was time to move off from that place and focus on the small, healing things. I made Thai Spring Rolls with Peanut Sauce for dinner, accompanied by a salad of mixed lettuce, oranges, ginger, pomegranate and pistachios in a ginger vinaigrette.

I made baked pears stuffed with feta cheese and chopped dried black cherries, drizzled with honey, fresh thyme and walnuts. Recipes for Sanity.

I admired some of the last gold of November against a vibrating sky.

Enjoyment was taken watching the squirrels stuffing their faces under the birdfeeder, burying their winter stores and frenetically running up and down the sidewalks.

I marveled at the roses still blooming on the porch of a house a few doors down. For some reason this photo came out looking almost like a painting.

The last of my porch flowers are still hanging on.

Produce at the farmer’s market lent beauty to appreciate.

Early last evening while out walking the dog, I glanced up to see a perfect half moon hovering above the treetops. It was a lovely night.

Even though the sky appeared clear, when I got back inside the house, I noticed my hair had absorbed the smell of smoke. It has been incredibly dry here in the northeast. Wildfires have been cropping up all over the area.

Climate change is real, folks. This is scary stuff. I was reading about The Gaia Hypothesis, how Earth is a complex, living system where components work together to form a self-regulating organism. By now it is pretty obvious that this organism has a disease and the disease is us.

To refocus, this morning broke to a rosy, beautiful, hopeful dawn.

When all else goes awry, being outside in nature always helps. In an attempt to blow off a little energy and be Useful, I went outside to do some yard work, raking up leaves. Almost everybody on the street was out there doing the same thing.

At first it appeared someone was illegally burning leaves (there is a burn ban here) as there was heavy gray smoke that seemed to be sitting at the end of our street. But soon you could see it spread throughout the sky, as it became apparent that the smoke from the wildfires had arrived on the wind. It was bad enough to irritate your throat. Eventually I gave it up and came inside.

I’m not sure how I will feel the next time I interact with friends or family who have aligned with choices that threaten the future and rights of so many. It will be a slow, cautious process. At this point there is not much to do but try to take the “dis” out of the dis-ease. Hope for the best, find beauty in the small things, try to love one another, be a good person, look for the light – and if you can, Be the Light.

And hope for rain.

And one more thing I have to say….thank God for dogs.

~*~