I was driving around looking for a good space in a rather large parking lot that serves a number of chain stores. The plan was to meet and accompany a friend who had a few errands to run in those stores and needed a little help, then leave my car and ride with her so we could grab some lunch. Since it was a bright, sunny day, I was hoping to find a spot near one of the many islands in the lot that had trees planted in them which provided a spot of shade. This way, when I got back in the car later it would not be burning hot.

There are a number of these “tree islands” scattered around the lot that are surrounded by from two to four spaces each, but unfortunately there weren’t any available, so I ended up just parking in a regular spot in the sun and got out of my car to wait for her. While casually leaning against the hood and idly observing the parking lot action, I noticed someone had arranged their vehicle in one of the shady spots in such a way that they had taken up FOUR spaces.

My immediate thought – one laced with disgust – was “Seriously? What an entitled asshole.” It was a large, black pickup truck; although full-sized, it was actually no larger than any of the other pickups and SUVs that seemed to dominate this parking lot, all of which appeared able to fit nicely in the spaces without parking like a jerk. As a matter of fact, there were so many pickups parked there that if all those stores had not been lining the perimeter of this lot, one might almost think this was a used pickup truck dealership. We have a lot of trucks and SUVs around here, that is a fact. It was the kind of scenario where you wish you had one of those snarky, pre-printed notes handy to leave on the windshield of selfish people who park like that.

Two spaces to accommodate length, had it even been necessary (it wasn’t) would be understandable. But four? Clearly the person just wanted to make sure nobody was going to ding his shiny truck.

I am sensitive to the part about not wanting to have your car scratched or dented, especially if it is perfect or brand new. My car has been hit so often in parking lots that it is starting to look like the remnants of Skylab. For those of you unfamiliar or too young to know about Skylab, it was the first United States space station, sent up in the early 1970’s. In 1979 Skylab – no longer functioning – was brought down into the atmosphere, disintegrating and leaving pieces strewn across the Indian Ocean and the outback of Australia – about a 2,500 miles long trail worth of debris.

So yes, I understand not wanting anyone to dent your vehicle, but if they were so worried, they could have parked further out towards the edges of the lot. But no, this person had to take four spaces in the coveted shady area.

So there I am; leaning on my car, still waiting for my friend, meanwhile letting my mind wander, imagining what this space-hogging owner might look like. In the past, a number of unfortunate encounters I have had with big, black pickup trucks has been accompanied by an air of aggression – extreme tail-gaiting, billowing exhaust, running stop signs, being cut off, and even an incident or two of road rage. Sometimes great big stickers, signs and flags stating a preference for a certain political persuasion can be seen adorning these vehicles. Based on those unpleasant former encounters, I visualized a very large, scowling, disrespectful guy (or woman) with a very unpleasant vibe. Although there were no identifying objects stuck to this shiny four-space bogart, I still imagined some macho dude ready to flip the bird to anyone in his way.

Suddenly, a man strides quickly towards the truck carrying a number of bags in his arms. He’s tall and thin, wearing jeans and sneakers….. and he’s a white-haired old man. He’s an old guy! He places his parcels in the passenger side, shuts the door and then walks back into the bookstore. Then he comes out again, futzes around for quite a while with whatever it is he’s got going on in the passenger side, opens a bottle of something to drink (tosses part of the zip cap opener on the ground), then smiles at me before getting behind the wheel and driving away.

Well.

Although I didn’t speak to him, there was nothing visually about him or his manner that indicated any hostility, aggressiveness or anything else. He was just an old man who parked his truck so that nobody else would put a ding in it. And okay, littered a bit. But at that point, I felt like maybe I should extend him some mental grace (because this entire movie was playing out in my own head). Who knows, maybe he is having more trouble parking as he has aged. Maybe he was a nice guy, regardless of whatever politics or anything else he might believe in. Maybe he just came out of that bookstore with some really interesting books (I love a bookstore) or gifts for someone special. Or maybe although he looked benign, he might really be not nice at all. Perhaps he does go around tail-gaiting and giving everyone “the finger.” There’s no way of knowing. The only thing I know for sure is that at that moment, he was Still An Asshole for taking up four parking spots.

After he left, I got back in the car and pulled my little compact piece of space junk up into one of the parking spots he had vacated, taking up only one space and leaving the other three for somebody else. Later on when I returned to my car, three other people had parked around me, also partaking of the shade provided by the tree island.

It was only a number of hours later that some irony surrounding the entire scene occurred to me. Although I try not to think about it too much, technically I am a “senior.” This “old guy” in the parking lot was most likely not much older than me. Old Guy!!!! Gahhhhh! So much for assumptions, perceptions and perspective. It was a good reminder and lesson for the day.

But, still, four spaces…. it was really an asshole move.