I’m delicious. I can attest to that, as these freakin’ mosquitos confirm it. Doesn’t matter what foods I eat or avoid, if I am sweating or cool and dry, whether I am freshly out of the shower and scrubbed squeaky clean or not, am alcohol-free, not breathing out extra carbon dioxide from any physical exertion, using fragrance free products or am slathered with supposedly repellant essential oils and sprays. Even the commercial products don’t totally do the job. My enticing type-O blood and otherwise undetectable yummy aroma screams out to them and lures them in like a siren.

My sister gave me a repellant wrist band to try that she felt was helpful. I had been saving it for an occasion when I was out gardening or sitting on The Urban Porch.

To compliment the wrist band, a friend recommended a super inexpensive, battery operated swatter shaped like a tennis racquet. She told me she sits outside by her swimming pool and waves it around her, where it emits multiple (and rather satisfying) “zap zap zap” sounds as it clears the air of mosquitos and even yellow jackets that are harassing her. I just discovered my son-in-law carries one when he goes on his evening walks and finds it very effective for bothersome horseflies. How come I never heard of this thing? So I got one.

That afternoon I sat outside on The Urban Porch and awaited the usual onslaught of biting bloodsuckers. I waved it around my head and body as my friend described, anticipating the gratification of flying pest annihilation and mellow airspace.

But no action was occurring. It was as if they suspected something was afoot, even before the thing was on. Perhaps the mere presence of said device entered their tiny consciousnesses, prompting them to back off? I continued to sit there on the porch, waving it around my head like a hallucinating tennis-playing weirdo. While I was doing this, a large mosquito zipped right past the racquet, landed on my leg and began drilling into me. It felt like a personal affront! A few attempts have now been made to test this contraption out. So far there has been no success.

This afternoon I decided to do some weeding and yard cleanup before the predicted thunderstorms began. It seemed like a good opportunity to test out the pink mosquito-repelling wrist band, especially since it was hot and muggy and I was going to be sleeveless. It has a very strong odor, like citronella and probably a blend of other oils too. Not having total confidence in its effectiveness, I also added a layer of commercial repellent to my bare arms for an extra barrier.

And yet, they eventually drove me back inside. Notice the wrist band and the proximity of a mosquito bite just beginning to welt up. This is in addition to using the commercial spray.

And here is the front side of my opposite shoulder. There are more bites on the back side. This is before they really blew up to about the size of a quarter.

There’s also one on my face and probably a few more elsewhere. As I type this, all of the bites are continuing to expand even more than in these photos and getting increasingly itchy.

A guy I knew years ago once put forth his theory that they were not targeting any one person – that we were all being bit by the mosquitos but only some of us were having more extreme reactions to them. He pointed out that they were landing on him too, but he was not reactive. In a way that idea almost makes sense as sometimes the welts get huge – it is the body’s immune response. Even after they fade, they often seem to flare up again days later.

The most effective thing I have found besides covering up head to toe is DEET, and even that has not been totally fool proof. I hate the way it feels on my skin, although I have used it at a few outdoor evening gatherings and religiously when in areas of countries where malaria and dengue fever is a threat. As always, you have to pick your battles. It is also toxic to dogs, which is a big NO around here.

The greatest anticipation towards colder weather is that this flying army from hell will finally be dead…at least until next year.

~*~